Since becoming so ill, i have struggled to remember what happened and when, a lot has been a blur trying to catch up on rest in between playing with the girls. So on Thursday i was pretty much on the declining road when it came to my health, i new i was getting more and more weaker but i was adamant i wanted to spend as much time with the chicas as possible. So in the morning i managed to get myself out of bed at 8am, it is never too difficult as my feet are always like ice blocks and my hands just frozen from the offset, the thought of putting them under cold water to wash, just makes the morning all the more adventurous or not. To be honest it has made it all part of the experience, if i was enjoying lovely hot evenings and a refreshingly warm or hot shower in the morning, it just wouldn’t have felt right anyway.
So i went downstairs to say good morning to the niñas who stay home and not yet at school and i received my lovely morning kisses and hugs and they were asking how i was feeling, but as schools were closed due to a protest and taxi strike, the older girls were home to which was a nice surprise. I explained best i could to them that i was felling better and was ok, and then i had the little girls approach me with sweet smiles and asked if i could take them to the park. I was feeling pretty rubbish still and although i was not a 100% i couldn’t resist their sweet little voices asking, plus they had been cooped up at home the last couple of days.
We got to the park and it was not the best thing for someone so unwell to take 7 little kids to the park and having to have many pairs of eyes as they split into their little groups. I didn’t actually think the little trip through but nevertheless, they were playing and laughing and enjoying themselves so it seemed worth it. They managed to get into their squabbles and somehow in whatever form of broken spanish it was, i managed to break them up and stop them arguing, they hug it out and then start playing again. It is all very civilised and i have certainly done well to perfect my Spanish for the sake of these children.
So it didn’t take them long to start squabbling again and at this point, i was starting to feel a little worse for wear. My head was pounding and as the sun beamed down on us the chill of the wind did not help my achy bones at all and i had to give them their 5minute warning of when we would be leaving. They didn’t take the news too well which was expected but i actually didn’t have the energy to have eyes in all corners of the park and i had to think of their safety and be able to move like lightening should anything serious happen. So 5mins went to 2mins within a minute as i knew they weren’t counting and i was starting to feel so weak and then just as one of the girls started crying because she had missed her turn on the slide i was able to shout ‘chicas vamos’ before they all stood up all holding hands, a little sad but we all went inside much to my delight. They then picked up colouring books and reading books and simply started drawing and working together and teaching one another in a sensible fashion, probably because they knew if they started complaining, mamita would not let them out to the park again so soon.
I stayed with them for a little while before heading upstairs as the strength in me was slowly being drained out, i could barely lift my legs to get up the stairs and the shivering was endless. I played it cool for the kids, even after the park they still wanted me picking them up and swinging them around, it is very funny when they giggle, just not so funny when i am desperately struggling to keep them from falling out of my arms. The older girls helped mamita prepare afternoon lunch so they were busy in the kitchen.
So i finally made it into my bed, nothing warm or cosy about it but to was a bed and i could lay down for a little while and get some strength back. I must have slept for a little over a couple of hours, before getting up and going back downstairs to see what the little monkeys were getting up to. They were actually sat all together in the front room watching the Barbie movie. The movie was in Spanish but was pretty intense as they were so gripped and didn’t even realise i walked in until one turned around and then the others blew kisses at me. I guess you just know when you are up against a Barbie movie in a girls home the most you will get are kisses blown at you because Barbie is just far too important. I was offered chicken feet soup which may not sound too good but it tasted delicious, i wasn’t given any chickens feet and i am guessing that would have been kept for the kids anyway which suited me fine.
The food certainly warmed me up as i sat there hugging the bowl and eating away, but i couldn’t stop shivering still, at this point i had 2 blankets wrapped around me and the girls asking if i was ok. It is so difficult to not feel well around these children, this is a way of life for them, they won’t be going home to heating and hot food, and all the different types of hot food you can think of. I felt really awful being so ill in front of them and it made me feel worse for it but i had to keep saying i was fine. I don’t even know if i was being selfish for feeling this way and not just perking up and putting the illness to one side. Its a bad case of the flu but i just couldn’t shake it off and i felt really bad being this way in from of the girls. They constantly have runny noses, probably feel ill a lot of the time but you would never know it because they just shake it off and carry on playing, i just couldn’t be that strong and i felt pathetic.
Having had to lay down on the bench i was soon escorted up to my room to rest, i was told i had to stay warm and needed to get into bed. I had a fever and just didn’t feel it due to being so cold, but i guess if i rested and slept it would mean i would be better in no time, and actually get to spend some good quality time with the children.
It is hard to describe the feeling of seeing little babies praying for me, wishing me to get better real soon and just feeling so sad i am not well. Its emotional as well frustrating because if i don’t rest i won’t get well and if i do rest i don’t get to spend time playing with them, but on this occasion i had no choice and had to rest and was marched upstairs by mamita.
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